Here it comes!

It was an unusually normal day at work, so here are some freak accidents that could happen to me.
While some of these may be quite disgusting, they are at the request of Eric, so you can thank him.

The computer explodes while I sit here.
The tree next to my bedroom comes crashing down on me in the night.
A soccer mom smashes her suv into me on 38th St. While I go to work.
An angry customer takes his wrath out on my face.
A forklift knocks a pallet of any heavy object on my head.
A forklift goes wildly out of control and knocks a whole shelf onto me.
An angry customer throws me in the wine racks and I drown.
I get sucked into the box compressor while it is in operation.
My car explodes when I start it.
A logging truck loses its load while I am next to it and I get smashed by a few trees.
(replace logging truck with any oversize load or car transport truck)
I fly into a flying squirrel and lose my prop.
I hit a goose and it knocks a wing off of my plane.
I get bored to death in physics class.

Now we get into the really extreme so weak of heart stop reading!

I get sucked out of a 1 inch hole in my plane during an explosive decompression!
I get some chemical (ask Ross, he uses it) in my eyes and they wither up and sort of steam away.
While we are on eyes, an ogre could make jelly out of them. "Actually it's quite good on toast."
A semi cuts me off while I am riding Ross's motorcycle over an overpass and severs my head off, causing to fall into a passing convertible which causes the driver to lose control and start a major chain reaction accident during rush hour, while up on the bridge, the blood squirting out of my neck blinds the next semi driver, causing him to swerve through oncoming traffic and over the other side of the bridge, spraying his load of acid all over anyone that wasn't already involved. (Fortunately Ross's motorcycle was not scratched so he still came to my funeral after they found my head.)
Tyrannic extra-terrestrial beasts invade America and decide to slice me into millimeter thick pieces starting at my toes.
I am in a nice house (In Scotland) with beautiful floor length windows, and pull the famous puke'n'slide, but I go shooting right down the hallway, through a window and into Loch Ness, where the monster turns out to be real and eats me the way Smeagol ate the fish at the opening of the third LOTR.
That's enough for now. I will probably have nightmares, and die of fright.