Haircut on the horizon

Well, my hair is getting to the point where it REALLY needs to be cut. Or at least trimmed up so as not to look like a shaggy dog. And I thought that since the only reason (that I can understand) why people would cut their hair is to please the general public (or at least that part of it with which the have the most contact), I would open a question to you, my general public.

I can cut my own hair for free (.5 cents of electricity) or have a barber do it for 15-20 dollars. Either way it won't turn out how I want it because I'm growing tired of a buzz, and barbers only have one haircut (they just go for the placebo effect when they ask you how you want it). I've been growing it out so it could be transformed into a complementary style (there's a heap of vanity for ya') at the scissors of a good stylist, but the only one I know of was living in the Bahamas the last I heard, and is therefore inaccessible.

I guess my question would be: Do I chop all my hair off and start growing it out all over again, or blow my cash on a barber who will give my something that looks nice until the first time I wash it? I really can't decide. Is there any other alternative?

While we are on tough questions, How does one stir something occasionally in the space of five minutes? Would that be once in the middle? once at each end of the five? every minute? When I cook something for thirty minutes stirring frequently happens about every five, so I don't know how occasionally could take place sooner. Maybe I'm confusing the whole sense of the word since it was put in the directions where it normally says to stir occasionally or frequently. Maybe the author of these directions meant that I should make an occasion of stirring. It would have been better worded "Put on your best clothes and stir thoroughly with grace, majesty, and fervor."

Now, read the sentence: The nation was full of tough women.
Then tell me the more popular spelling for this word: ghoti
Prize to the winner.