Shooting Spree on Purdue Campus!
There was a shooting spree on campus at about 7:38 this morning. A young man wearing a Purdue jacket walked across campus this morning and without warning he started shooting around wildly! Well, his legs did at least. He walked onto a spot that had just been swept by the famed "ice polishers" he lost all traction and braking ability and nearly fell to his death. Fortunately there were no casualties. However, his dignity is reported to be in critical condition.
There are muffled reports of a student uprising about to happen on campus on account of the Ice Polishers. Prematurely hailed for clearing snow, the student body now loathes these beastly machines for removing all traction from the sidewalks. Reported to give the pathways a Mu value of 8, my sources state that they must be removed before more shootings happen with more disastrous consequences.
In other news:
Vertical Loops didn't happen yesterday like they were supposed to. But at least Ross got his wish for snow.
And:
This morning I got up at 6:45 and staggered to my only class of the day because my physics lab was extra credit. So I got there a little early cause I walked faster than usual, and sat and talked to Miss Bosler for a while. Then at 7:30 some lady came in and said all three of Dr. Blanchard's classes were canceled today! Which means that I got up at 6:45 for nothing and also that I have no classes today.
5 Comments:
LOLOL Wow! What creativity! Have fun without classes today, but keep your distance from everywhere the evil ice polishers have been.
Ross really should quit that. It's just going to make the water colder if it does raise the level at all, and there's not really enough snow to do doughnuts without doing some damage to the tires.
Actually I got some awesome doughnuts in on the way back from Bible study Monday night. It was so slick that when I was fish-tailing a little to, uh, get a feel for the road conditions I actually got the truck to make an uncommanded 270 degree rotation on the road right out in front of our house.
And not only was it good for that but I didn't have to work either, which is nice every once in a while.
SHOOTING SPREE IN QUIET NEIGHBORHOOD IN W. LAFAYETTE!
A man is reported to have shot several times just off of Salsbury St. in W. Lafayette! Wittnesses say that he was driving a red GMC pickup (1/4 traction and power of any Dodge) when he lost all comtrol and started shooting! He made an "uncommanded 270" and nearly died flipping over a curb! Police have not yet aprehended the man and are offering a reward for his capture. Other sources may tell you that we have exaggerated the story, but don't listen to them because our top analyist had a cousin who's friends mother's aunt did the same thing. Or was it their second cousin? hmm.
lol
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